oceanic breeze.

it all left me having new ideas, re-building lost ties/building new ties and just being strong and smiling at the same time. i don't really know why it should happen but i allowed it to. not everybody would understand the decisions i took but i know, deep inside me that it was worth all the time i spent feeling whatever i felt. i know that it'll lead me to a path made by God, a path that i'll take with utmost confidence and more direction this time. not that i didn't have guidance before, maybe this time, i'd say, things will be started from a different take off. i won't lie, yes, i do sometimes find myself looking back at the old times. hoping that it'll all go back to normal and have the same laughs and moments. but i snap back to reality at once. there's no living in the past anymore. maybe, when things will be in its place, it'll be easier. it'll be more senseful. not everybody might understand it still but, well...some things are just meant to be taken that way.
if you want to please everyone, u'll end up pleasing noone.
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NAME ANALYSIS FOR: anna marisol fresnedi de jesus

anna marisol:
You are adventurous with a tendency to be foolhardy. You are aggressive and definitely have leadership abilities. You can handle details well. You have a methodical mind. You must learn to give 'wise' service and not be a martyr. You have a need to be up front. You are always involved with projects and things to do. You have a need to be up front. You enjoy a challenge. You can take thought-directed actions. You are relatively demonstrative in your affections. You enjoy being stroked verbally and physically. You try to be prudent. You have good business acumen. You have a great deal of loyalty to those you love. You have much inner strength. You have a diplomatic flair to your nature. Equality and fairness are important to you.

fresnedi:
You have an aptitude for dealing with the public. You would do well in entertainment and politics. You feel secure in group endeavors. You have a lack of confidence in your mental abilities and do not like being forced into giving your opinion. You can be quite inventive and quite curious. You have a need to earn money to prove your success to society and must learn the true value of material gains and status. You must learn to give 'wise' service and not be a martyr. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood. You have a discriminating nature coupled with perseverance and family pride. You need to learn to give and receive love for love's sake. You have a need to be assured of affection.

de jesus:
You have a discriminating nature coupled with perseverance and family pride. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood. You conduct yourself in a fair and just manner. You enjoy watching or participating in sports. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood. You have a need to earn money to prove your success to society and must learn the true value of material gains and status. You are soft-hearted with a charitable nature. You have a need to earn money to prove your success to society and must learn the true value of material gains and status.

http://miva.zodiacal.com/acro.mv?analyze
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i woke up to the songs that reminded me of the good old days, followed by the songs we used to listen together. i found myself smiling after realizing that. it was a genuine smile, mind you. i guess vic is right, i really am doing better now.
i just want to thank the people who were there for me during my depression namely AI,PAT,PAO,JANCE,ANNE&IRA, ZEE, AIX, VIC, RAIN, BING, TOFF, JEM, MON, RACHE, LAR, CARLO, THE SEC PEOPLE(with your company, you kept me pre-occupied) and the HONK PEOPLE(who were giving me comfort without them knowing it). thank you for giving me time to recover and making me realize the realities that lies beneath..thank you,thank you =)
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Its been painful, i know
Living life with all these hurts and troubles
Im on your side
Pushing away your tears and sorrows
But you've gotta hang on
Together we'll carry on
You've gotta get up and walk on
-come breathe me
by 17:28

My love is true for you
You never have to worry baby
'Cuz I got what you need
You'll never be alone
My heart will be
Your shelter and keep you warm
-serenade
by shades

You don't miss your water girl no
But I believe so strongly in you and I yeah
Can somebody answer me the question why
Cause you don't miss your water 'til the well runs dry yeah listen
If you ever get the feeling
You wanna play around starting cheating, remember
You don't miss your water 'til the well runs dry
-You Don't Miss Your Water ('Til The Well Runs Dry)
by Craig David

Truthfully, I really can't explain, I'm floating, I'm smiling again.
Truthfully, I can't ignore you, cause I've been waiting for you.
Truthfully, I'm not desperate, I haven't changed my mind since we first met,
But the last thing that I want to do is to tell you that I'm right for you.
-truthfully
by lisa loeb

All I do is lay around
Two ears full tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don't even know you at all
I don't know you at all
-officially missing you
by tamia

baby, just this time
please leave me with my pride
if im giving now, i have nothing left to fight
if you don't let down, i will have no choice
but to say goodbye
baby just this time
could you be the one to breakdown and cry
-if you want to be mine
by luke mijares

baby just let it go
dont wanna try dont wanna try dont wanna try no more
tell me whats the use of holdin on when all we do is hurt our love
-don't want to try
by frankie j.

its been cold summer nights
since we drifted apart
cold summer nights
since you walked out that door
cold summer nights
here on my own
coz i miss you baby
i need you here
-cold summer nights
by francis m.

It's amazing how you knock me off my feet, hmm
Everytime you come around me I get weak, oh yeah
Nobody ever made me feel this way, oh
You kiss my lips and then you take my breath away
So I wanna know
-i wanna know
by joe

I never thought in a million years
That I could feel the way that I feel, no
How I get butterflies (get butterflies)
Whenever your lips touch mine
I must confess my dear
That it was instantly right from the start
A special bond between you and my heart
How it skips a beat whenever our eyes meet
And simply said the reason being
Because I love you
-because i love you
by drop n harmony

Nothing is certain
This I know
Wherever we're headed
I'm ready to go

I can't promise forever, but baby I'll try
Yes I'm ready to fall in love tonight

Yes I'm ready to fall
In love tonight
-ready to fall
by joey fatone


No lettting go No holding back
Because you are my lady
When I'm with you its all a that
Girl I, am so glad we've dated
No letting go No holding back
No holding Back no
When I'm with you it's all a that
All a that
-no letting go
by wayne wonder

Over hearts, I have painfully turned every stone
Just to find, I had found what I've searched to discover
I've come much too far for me now to find
The love that I sought can never be mine
-overjoyed
by mary j. blige

I’d hate walk away from you as if this never existed
Cause when we kissed the moment after I looked at you different
Lately I gotta watch what I say
Cause you take things personally nowadays
You used to laugh now you get mad
Damn I just want my friend back
-half crazy
by musiq

Do I need a reason to tell you why
I’m singing you this song
Do I need a reason to show you that
I know where I belong
Whenever I am weary I lean on
this feeling that I have
I am so much stronger now
Thankful, yes I am
-do i need a reason
by d'sound

A place to spend my quiet nights
Time to unwind
So much pressure in this life of mine
I cry at times
I once contemplated suicide
And woulda tried
But when I held that nine
All I could see was my mama's eyes
No one knows my struggle
They only see the trouble
Not knowing it's hard to carry on when no one loves you
Picture me inside the misery and poverty
No man alive has ever witnessed struggles I've survived
Praying hard for better days
Promised to hold on
Me and my dogs don't have a choice but to roll on
We finally found a spot to kick it
Where we could drink liquor
And no one bickers over trick shit
A spot where we could smoke in peace
And even though we Gs
We still visualize places
That we could roll a piece
And in my minds eye
I see this place the players go and pass it
Got a spot for us all
So we can ball
At Thugs Mansion
-thugz mansion (acoustic)
by tupac

You showed me the definition of feminine
The difference between a pack of bitches and black women
I see the boss for the third time, hope to see you soon
Pictures of us kissin in the living room, in the nude
Thanks for bein there, much more than a friend
I swear I'll never call you bitch again, believe me
-never call you bitch again
by tupac

You can really help a busta if it ain't ment to be
Wit a little oohwee, wit a little oohwee
I'm tired of tryin' to help these thugs
Lord just guide em' home, guide 'em home
-take me home
by bone thugs n harmony & phil collins


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it was a trip down memory lane.

it only took just one picture and i was back in time. i smiled.
i looked back like i only had nice, happy memories with the people in it. it was the time when i knew that trust was more than a word, that friendship is a gift and not a chance. that closeness doesn't measure up to the number of secrets you share but the honesty both parties could give. it was that time, when i thought i found the real people but realize that there is more exciting and more real waiting for me. time was my bestfriend, it led me to the way that i thought there was no other day that i could do what i did at that moment. i grew, i lived, i learned.
never have i thought that it could happen.but it did.it was real.there was/were a friendship/s lost,trust/s was/were broken,new ties were built,new me was born.
now that it only took just one picture and i was back in time, i make sure that i only smile.there is no room for tears to fall down (because of that) anymore, there is more to life than the past.

i grew, i lived, i learned.
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new pics uploaded!!!
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i had it again last night. he was there in my dreams again. its so weird that he's there when i don't think about him anymore, well not the way i used to. i'm definitely friends with him now. we share secrets, confide to each other and well...help each other as friends but in my dreams?we're lovers. ok, something like the way a gurl may daydream for her crush..that way. but i must admit, he looks good now..in reality,that is. many have complimented him that he looks better in his new hairdo, that he looks manly-boyish now. so...are my dreams my hidden desires for him?heheheheh!just a thought! =p
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when you said it, i really wanted to. but you know, i was too hesitant, though the desire was there, it just didn't feel right at the moment. it was too precious, too special, too intimate that i just couldn't give it because you said it. even if i now know it is possible, i still am not confident enough to give it a go. i said there is still no trust, but its not because of you. i don't want to be unfair, i don't want to be selfish...
but only if...if only....
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i just woke up from a total of thirteen hours of sleep!something that i havent done for the past three years. sleep is a treasure for me now. sanay ako sa puyat, but in college puyat means work..work and work. its a good thing i really love what i've been doing for school, that's why staying up was never a hassle for me. every minute in the ungodly hours were spent wisely for me, i learned, i grew and i got satisfied with my work. like any other things in life, i did get the not-so-rewarding-moments, but its all good. i saw it to be my stepping stones towards a better path. i only have a term (three whole months) to go till i march for the last time, and i'm both excited and scared about it. there are so many oppurtunities in the world...i don't want to miss a thing, but of course decisions will be made..rejections and acceptance will be part of it. all the "major" decisions now will be nothing to the decisions tomorrow. i just hope and pray that whatever my path would be, there will still be enthusiasm...lessons to learn(which i know are never ending) and of course, staying up till the sun rises. =)

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you've made me stronger,you've made me realize

how much there is to give and keep

how much sacrifice and grief there might be

reality bit me, it wasn't perfect but it was nice

i knew this day would come

i knew loneliness will end at the right time

but things are better off alone

though there is still space for you

not now, not tomorrow

maybe later, maybe in a while

who knows, it may change

but now, i can't be with you

a miracle brought us together

it was the same thing that kept us closer

ditto it kept us apart, well and wiser

a miracle will set another rendezvous.

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