oceanic breeze.

exactly a year ago, the news arrived to me with a touch of sincerity and loneliness. one thing led to another, until everything..every single thing fell into place. bliss, grief, frustration, gratitudeness filled my world that transformed me into what i am now. i don't know what "me" is called now, i just know that my world is looking at a different perspective. a brighter one, a hopeful one, a focused one, with reality still filling every moment that should be in.

So Yesterday
by Hilary Duff

You can change your life- if you wanna
You can change your clothes- if you wanna

If you change your mind
Well, that's the way it goes

But I'm gonna keep your jeans
And your old black hat- cause I wanna
They look good on me
You're never gonna get them back
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause

[CHORUS:]
If it's over, let it go and
Come tomorrow it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
I'm just a bird that's already flown away

Laugh it off let it go and
When you wake up it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay

You can say you're bored- if you wanna
You can act real tough- if you wanna
You can say you're torn
But I've heard enough

Thank you... you made my mind up for me
When you started to ignore me
Do you see a single tear
It isn't gonna happen here
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause

[CHORUS]

If you're over me, I'm already over you
If it's all been done, what is left to do
How can you hang up if the line is dead
If you wanna walk, I'm a step ahead
If you're moving on, I'm already gone
If the light is off then it isn't on
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause

[CHORUS 2X]


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patawarin nyo na ako....addict ako dito.ü

1. birthday?
--april 20, 1983

2. what school did you go to in highschool?
--De La Salle Santiago Zobel

3.where would you wanna go right now?
--Amanpulo, Palawan.....gusto kong magBeAcH!!!

4. what is ur wish ryt now?
--i wish i can GO TO THE BEACH! =p

5. When did you last cry?
--october 18, 2003

6. Do you like your handwriting?
--yup!!

7. Any bad habits?
--friendster-ing everyday...bad ba yun? =p

8. What is your most embarrassing moment?
--when i was asking for an autograph from Enrico Villanueva for Bing. i got really shy & embarassed because Enrico's gf was with him and they were eating dinner. i had to ask my mom to approach him kasi i was trembling, not because kinikilig ako but because..i don' t really like him.heheh.patay na patay kasi si Bing dun. =p nakakahiya talaga, i acted as if i was a big fan...hiihih.gud thing he was really nice & friendly, and his gf as well.ü

9. what would u change about u?
--nothing. i wouldn't be me if i'd change anything, juz improve some aspects lang siguro.

10.Are you a daredevil?
--hehe...depende. =p

11.who inspires you to live?
--isabel tecson madrid,my grandma..she's a big influence in my life

12. Do looks matter?
--it depends...there are situations that its not really needed

13. what is you cellphone model?
--6210

14. Do you believe in ghosts?
--not until i see one...at sana wag na!

5. how many piercings do you have?
-one on each ear

16. Are you trendy?
--not really, accesories maybe..but the whole get-up?not really...

17. How do you release anger?
--shouting and i curse a lot when im mad.. (tsk!tsk!bad me!)

18.Where are your second homes?
--SeC and my friends' houses =)

19.What was your favorite toy as a child ?
--my paperdolls.i loved mix-matching their paper clothes =)

20. favorite subject/s?
--filmpro(film production), advedes(design on advertising), stagfx 1 & 2, i really learned a lot from these subjects and i had fun throughout the courses. =)

21.best moment of your life?
--it was on my birthday this year...truly the pivotal point of my life.

22. favorite dessert?
--cheesecake by my tita liles

23.ABS-CBN or GMA?
--ABS CBN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

24.favorite bands?
--parokya, hellbender, mayonaise, no doubt, garbage

25.What do you look for in a guy/girl? –
--i don't really have standards but someone who's able to put up with me, being complicated won't hurt =)

26. What are your nicknames?
--mari, maripuch, marisol..ask my friends for further inquiries =p

27. Would you bungee?
--thinking about it...

28. what do you wear when u sleep?
--tanks or big shirts and boxers

29. What are you worried about right now?
--midterms in POLIGOV and GRADUATION in january

30. did u ever go on a diet?
--diet? ang sarap kumain eh!

31.when was ur first kiss?
--april ** üü

32. who's ur crush in showbiz?
--juddah & piolo; josh hartnett

33. What's your favorite colour combination?
--blue & khahis

34. favorite ice cream flavor?
--praline almond & strawberry

35. favorite animal?
--dolphins...really cute and intelligent creatures!

36. Are you in love?
--yes..in so many ways. =)

37. what will be ur wedding song?
--nyeh...m not thinking about those things yet.

38.instead of telling who ur crush is describe
her/him instead.
--he's an open-minded & witty guy...uhm,non-showbiz din pala sya. =p

39.mommy or daddy?
--dad

40. greatest regret?
--none

41. kyla or nina?
--nina

42. motto in life?
--don't do unto others what you don't want to be done unto you.

47. one nyt stand or long term relationship?
--long term...one night stands are nonsense,unless you want to catch aids.

48. future profession?
--production coordinator/producer/hands-on personnel...pray for me.ü

49.what is the perfect date?
--a date that is laid-back, no pretensions included and its supposed to be with someone im very comfortable with. no candlelight ek-ek needed!

50. what would u like for Christmas?
--a place where my dad, my bro/s & i can transfer to.

51. what will be your new years resolution?
--work out more. =)

52. torpe or straight forward?
--straight forward...walang torpe-torpe!!!

53.what is the one thing you cant live without?
--hala!isa lang?that would be my SANITY!ü

54. what is/are ur best asset/s?
--being open-minded.

55.are u a better listener or a better adviser?
--i'd rather you ask my friends. =)

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i am not feeling bad but i am not happy neither. nababaliw na ba ako? well, try going home to not exactly a home(i got used to this already, maybe im burning out), you're having withdrawals of finally accepting that its your first time without a partner-in-crime aka confidant from the opposite sex(not necessarily a boyfriend; note:patty is in a different category, bestest friend yun), you have chicken pox, and you are about to graduate in two months. stress or not stress? to worry or not to worry? i should've put my status in YM just like zee's, "trying to keep my sanity" but i guess my "lost and disturbed" status was ok too. this "sick leave" is giving me too much time to analyze my thoughts, my intimate thoughts. is it bad?or good? see?i ask too much questions. tama na nga muna. sabi nga ni primo, so stop this na para di na matuluyan! =)
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urh! i accidentally deleted my "annoying post"!!! di ko na tuloy ma-express ng tama ang gusto kong sabihin tungkol dun! urh!!!!!! u know that feeling? when you've finally constructed the perfect words to say, typed it and ready to click post and publish...YOU ACCIDENTALLY LOSE IT!! ay nako! maybe it was never meant to be posted. urh!!! pa rin!
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so, its past 3 in the morning and im wide awake. supposedly, no school tomorrow..eh, later pala..but since im sick--chicken pox (yup!just now!!), no school until next week. celebration? NO WAY! i'll be missing out a lot and considering, im 2 months away from my graduation. haay! hassle talaga! but looking on the positive side of being sick--
a)i have time to think on how to style my hair coz its really long now
b)i can watch my missed out fave tv shows
c)i can go on line more *heheheh*
d)lorein told zee that i don't need make up papers for my absences (i really hope he remembers this when i get back) and ogag was absent (yahoo!ü)
e)shine said i can skip the meeting on tuesday and i'm still on with our raket
and
f)i can relax my mind and body to prepare to work my hell out of surviving, and saving up for my future
just for now, my only business..real business is to not scratch every spot!aaahhhhh!!alone time has never been this meaningful.ü
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mon, vic & i each put ourselves into a hotseat. i havent been in one for so long, so i played with the mood. after my turn,i had a pretty good..hmmm?reaction(personally) to what they've said. i can say, it helped me to get to know myself in a very different perspective. it opened my mind more. why? kasi..mon and vic are my friends. we spend time together at the cubez, i trust them and talk about different things..but i can't really say that i am (very) transparent with them. when i saw my testimonial deleted, it was ok. i totally understand. i, myself don't approve invitations sometimes, remember? so, i am open with that. i think, the way they've opened up to me was just right. no offense, kung baga. and besides, even if they've said anything really hurtful, i'll accept it. that's just the way life is...some may like you, some may not.
at this point, im really thankful that i am exposed to different kinds of people..not just exposed to them but also, i've learned to appreciate them as well. i may not be perfect in treating them but..i really do try my best to be nice and well, be true to them as much as i can. there is only one kind that i cant stand, the pretenders. mga yun? ay! nako talaga.
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One
by Heart Evangelista

INTRO
One night, one kiss
Only one feeling exist
One breath, one touch
But I've never felt this much

CHORUS
And I, I wanna share my whole life with you
I wanna keep on dreaming dreams with you, make them all come true
As I lay inside your arms and rest my head upon your shoulder
Believe me there's nothing that I can't do whenever we're together

One time, one place
With the warmest sweet embrace
One joy, one pain
Only true love can sustain

[Repeat CHORUS]

I can never be the same girl that I used to be
I'm stronger now 'cause you've made me face the fear in me
And you don't have to prove yourself at all and making wrong things right
The fact that you love me makes everything all right

[Repeat CHORUS]

CHORUS
And I, I wanna share, share my whole life with you
I wanna keep on dreaming, dreams do come true
As I lay inside your arms and rest my head upon your shoulder
Believe me there's nothing that I can't do whenever we're together

CODA
Honey, keep on dreaming
Nothing that I can't do
Nothing that I can't do
Only when I'm with you

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friday night.
it was hell of a long test in poligov.ang lufet talaga ni lorein!followed by ogag.hay..he never ceases to amuse me in an unamusing way.he assigned us a reasearch on the encyclicals that im sure, will only benefit him and only him.fortunately,he dismissed us early.ü friday is a gift day for me, zee, aiko & toff.rain as our middle chiq,we received our something crunchie for that day.we were quite satisfied with what we each got.busog nanaman kami!
after quick goodbyes to sio friends,we headed to the south to prepare for zee's bday dinner..then off we went to town.alryt,i wont go into details on this,i could just sum it up to---one pivotal night--unexpected encounters took place..ate a lot..tightened bonds with friends..napagtripan by the most alaskador that night(but it was all good.ü no harm done naman.ü)..drank a bit..and slept at 530am(the next morning!) at zee's house.mon promised zee a 1/2 gallon BuTTeRFiNgeR ice cream..but never came the next day!bwiset!we were all craving for that pa naman!at least, we had a whole cake to distract us!ü the next day was like a vacation for me.it has been a long while since i felt so stressfree when sleeping over my friends house.usually, it'll be for a school work but last friday to saturday was all pleasure.tita gigi,zee and i shared stories that kept the conversations light, with Bush in the background.aiko came over at night,we watched tv together then played "Italian Job" on dvd--new fave movie!ü from cinematography to stagfx to prod design, to acting---A class,indeed!
how i wish my weekends will always be like this...
it was such a great break, spiritually and mentally.
thanx, tita gigi and zee!ü .mari.
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.naisip ko nung isang gabi.
ang dapat na tumatayo kong maaasahang kaibigan ay siya pang rason ng aking hinagpis sa ngalan ng pag-ibig, na aking ibinubuhos sa dapat kong pinagtutuunan ng pansin at kalooban. bakit nga ba ganito ang tadhana? tanggap ko ang lahat ng nangyari, mga masasaya at malulungkot na pagkakataon. lahat nito'y nagbigay sa akin ng aral at kaligayahan. wala akong pinagsisisihan. ngunit, isa lang ang aking pinagtataka. noong mga panahong ako'y nakabaon sa kalungkutan, ang isa sa mga taong nakapag-pa-intindi sa akin ay sya, ang sinong dapat kong pagtuunan ng pansin. nabigyan nya ako ng kalinawan at tanging pag-iintindi sa bawat emosyon na aking pinagdaanan. noong mga oras na iyon, naisip kong sya ay napaka-mabuting kaibigan. hindi ko inakalang magiging ganuon ang mga pangyayari. pati siya ay nagsiwalat sa akin ng kanyang nakaraan at maging sa kanyang mga pinagkaka-abalahan sa kasalukuyan. simula ng aming pag-uusap na iyon, nagkaroon kami ng higit na pagtitiwala sa isa't-isa. at sa magpa-hanggang ngayon, kami'y patuloy pa ring nagpapalitan ng mga kwento.
nakakatuwang isipin na ganito ang naging takbo ng mga pangyayari. nagkabaliktad man ang mga ginampanan ng mga taong ito sa buhay ko, patuloy pa rin akong nagpapasalamat sa Diyos na sila'y dumating sa buhay ko.ü
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i was supposed to send this through email but i thought of posting it here instead...

1151a;october 14,2003
1. WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
fresnedi

2. WHAT KIND OF CLOTHES ARE YOU WEARING AND WHAT
COLOR?
right now?boxers and white t-shirt

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
electric fan's ugong

4. WHAT ARE THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE
NUMBER?
6382

5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
that would be from last night..hmmm...chimichanga from miggy's

6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD
YOU BE?
light blue

7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW?
sunny

8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
my dad

9. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE
OPPOSITE SEX?
lips and face structure

10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU
THIS?
op cors, bianca!ü

11. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
feeling bad,i just found out something kaya im distracting myself at the moment!

12. FAVORITE DRINK?
non-alcoholic?Sola Raspberry Iced Tea

13. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Smirnoff Mule & Jagermeittster(pls correct my spelling on this one.ü)

14. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
basketball, volleyball, cheerdancing

15. HAIR COLOR?
dark brown

16. EYE COLOR?
dark brown

17. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
yuf!!

18. SIBLINGS AND THEIR AGES?
myles is 17 & nani is 13

19. FAVORITE MONTH?
april & december

20. FAVORITE FOOD?
unagi maki

21. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Underworld

22. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
u mean, day as in araw sa isang linggo?that would be friday.

23. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
heheh...depends on the "someone".ü

24. DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY?
either, depends on my mood.. --->agree!

25. SUMMER OR WINTER?
both,please?ü

26. HUGS OR KISSES?
hugs!!kisses from *ahem* only.ü

28. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
vanilla!!!!

29. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK?
YES, PLEASE!!ü

30. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
the ones who've graduated

31. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
the ones who are doing their thesis =p

32. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
im reading "birthday girls" now..but generally anything that interests me...as in any topic.

33. WHAT'S ON YOUR SCREEN SAVER (Also DESKTOP)?
amelie.

34. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
snakes&ladders in sec!

35. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT?
fought with my brother then slept!

36. FAVORITE SMELLS?
yung bagong ligo smell, downy on clothes, cool water & gap heaven!üü

37. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF
WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
"bakit sya asa panaginip ko?"

38. FAVORITE ALBUM TITLE? (JUST THE TITLE,
REGARDLESS OF THE MUSIC)
fruitcake!

39. EVER BREAK SOMEONE'S HEART?
hehehhe.pass.ü

40. DO YOU SMOKE? IF YES, PLEASE ELABORATE:
on rare occasions, but i won't really buy a pack for myself.

41. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY?
saying sorry on the things that are not supposed to be sorry about.

42. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY?
i see the positive side even on the worst situations(sabi ng friends ko.ü)

43. HAVE ANY NICKNAMES?
mari to friends & cousins, marisol to my family,maripuch to my special ones & many many more.ü

44. WHEN DID YOU LAST "GET SOME?"
wat a q!

45. ARE YOU HAPPY?
i can be if i want to.



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second term, fourth year..my lax term,and well,my last term. no drafts due on thursdays, no waking up early to go to qc for stagfx, no mio prodbuks,no thesis requirements to plan,no saving up for commuting to ojt locations..no nothing to be panicked about!i've never felt this worry-free in my whole college life,ang sarap sarap para ng feeling na'to!!ü by december, im planning to work already. so,right now,i just get one-shot rakets. i dont want to rush myself working coz i've been doing that for the past three years(as in rakets and for school benefits) and will be doing that for the rest of my life so...break muna ngayon.i'm able to give myself "alone" time now, reading a good book or working out or doing sports(na sobrang na-miss ko talaga!).now, is also a time na bumawi sa mga gimiks!!ha!!!i almost forgot what that word meant(in college)!if others(college peepz) gave the word "gimik" a whole new sense, for me(and my blockmates)..haaay...sobrang heaven na talaga pagnakalabas kami kahit for a few hours lang.
hard work really pays off in the end kaya no complaints ako..i really had fun and learned a lot in college.ü


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i just logged out from friendster(wah!!addict na ako!). i refused to join the craze at first, but when it was thoroughly explained...hahah!ok naman pala eh!you get to "re-connect" with old friends and actually gain some, but im personally picky on approving invites..there goes my being private again. testimonials are good too, but pangbobola are not allowed!hahah!i write testimonials for my friends straight from the heart, and not for the sake of just writing one.i think it should be written that way, right?i love appreciating pictures, taken artistically or just simply pictures kaya i got hooked even more. i personally admire monica's prime pic, bianca's sleeping shot and micah's prime pic.i also like it when they change their prime pic once in a while,it adds to more appreciation. =)
i really hope friendster won't shut down!
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i miss having a partner, not a boyfriend, nor a boylet but a partner. someone who is reliable, and when i say reliable the person would be there physically..emotionally and even spiritually for you 24/7. someone whom you share special codes with. someone who makes you laugh, shares your kababawans and makes you feel that you're not alone being baduy sometimes. someone who wakes you in the middle of the night just to tell you a kilig moment or well,ask you to be there for that person. i terribly miss sharing all these simple things in life with a partner.

don't take me wrong here. i am well. i just miss it..that's all. =)
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