Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Bliss and desolation. The change.
It's running. So near but uncertain. Killing the mischievous, enters the pleasant.
Me? No. Forthcoming? Yes.
Both hands tied together. Gasping for air. Eyes closed.
Sounds. Blasting. Good sounds. Bad ones.
Searching. The change.
Lips slowly parted. Fingers moved.
Eyes met, broke the serenity. Heartbeat, fast. Last look, smile. Next one? Disappointment.
Sudden. Or late? Whatever.
Twenty-four hours. Good. No worries. Not.
Continued inside. Wondering, dreamlike. Strange. The change, it's there. Still can't tell.
Good vibes. Change. Enhanced kind. New model. Inspired.
Modify.
Looking forward, never again to look back. Smiling. Worried but blissful. Uncertain but steadfast.
Learned. Nodding. Still learning. Acceptance, almost whole. Good.
Thank God.
Almost there. Hopeful.
Sounds. Blasting. Good sounds. Bad ones.
Searching. The change.
Soon. Maybe now. Soon.
(March 27, 2004)
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It's running. So near but uncertain. Killing the mischievous, enters the pleasant.
Me? No. Forthcoming? Yes.
Both hands tied together. Gasping for air. Eyes closed.
Sounds. Blasting. Good sounds. Bad ones.
Searching. The change.
Lips slowly parted. Fingers moved.
Eyes met, broke the serenity. Heartbeat, fast. Last look, smile. Next one? Disappointment.
Sudden. Or late? Whatever.
Twenty-four hours. Good. No worries. Not.
Continued inside. Wondering, dreamlike. Strange. The change, it's there. Still can't tell.
Good vibes. Change. Enhanced kind. New model. Inspired.
Modify.
Looking forward, never again to look back. Smiling. Worried but blissful. Uncertain but steadfast.
Learned. Nodding. Still learning. Acceptance, almost whole. Good.
Thank God.
Almost there. Hopeful.
Sounds. Blasting. Good sounds. Bad ones.
Searching. The change.
Soon. Maybe now. Soon.
(March 27, 2004)
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Saturday, March 27, 2004
Friday, March 26, 2004
Babe and Pep Chic are "in a relationship"
Nagulat ako and texted Hubby agad. He didn't sound so surprised like me, baka na-kwento na sa kanya ni Pep Chic that they were going out. Yes, most probably. But Hubby wondered why Pep Chic hasn't told him yet. Owell. Na-apektohan ako in a sense that
---Pep Chic and Hubby had similar sequence of events with Wifey and Ex, tapos Babe and Wifey had a confession session a year after their mutual attraction, when Hubby and Wifey were very good friends already---
Gets? Read it over and over again and you'll clearly understand me. My initial gulat was, of-all-people-why-them kind of gulat. Not that I don't like them to be together, it's just so, ewan. Weird? Unexpected? Para kasing dapat Wifey and Babe are together and Hubby and Pep Chic. Kung nangyari yun, both couples are in a long distance relationship but then, now that Babe and Pep Chic are there, far, far away-together, sina Wifey and Hubby are here in Manila...urh! Baka nahanap ni Babe si Pep Chic sa list ni Wifey through Hubby and Pep Chic connected Babe from Wifey to Hubby (malamang!), which made it one of the reasons of possibility to take the risk of getting together! Possible. Shit. Ang dami namang Filipinos sa Australia,ah?! Hay.
(March 22, 2004)
****
"Twenty three times for me and first time for you"
-50 First Dates
...made me cry. Hay.
(March 24, 2004)
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Nagulat ako and texted Hubby agad. He didn't sound so surprised like me, baka na-kwento na sa kanya ni Pep Chic that they were going out. Yes, most probably. But Hubby wondered why Pep Chic hasn't told him yet. Owell. Na-apektohan ako in a sense that
---Pep Chic and Hubby had similar sequence of events with Wifey and Ex, tapos Babe and Wifey had a confession session a year after their mutual attraction, when Hubby and Wifey were very good friends already---
Gets? Read it over and over again and you'll clearly understand me. My initial gulat was, of-all-people-why-them kind of gulat. Not that I don't like them to be together, it's just so, ewan. Weird? Unexpected? Para kasing dapat Wifey and Babe are together and Hubby and Pep Chic. Kung nangyari yun, both couples are in a long distance relationship but then, now that Babe and Pep Chic are there, far, far away-together, sina Wifey and Hubby are here in Manila...urh! Baka nahanap ni Babe si Pep Chic sa list ni Wifey through Hubby and Pep Chic connected Babe from Wifey to Hubby (malamang!), which made it one of the reasons of possibility to take the risk of getting together! Possible. Shit. Ang dami namang Filipinos sa Australia,ah?! Hay.
(March 22, 2004)
****
"Twenty three times for me and first time for you"
-50 First Dates
...made me cry. Hay.
(March 24, 2004)
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Thursday, March 18, 2004
I always laugh and feel good after watching that show, but tonight was an exception. I let out a scream (more like a shriek)...ran out of the brothers' room and stumped on the floor when I reached my own room. Of all days to see him on screen, on his rare cases that he is on screen..I miserably see him!!! He doesn't send me good vibes anymore, more on the doubtful side already. I feel weak when I think about him, not inspired. It's so plain now, not as special as before. Uncertainty flows between us, or is it just me? Yes, I guess its just me but I have my reasons. It's selfish. It's bad but I can't blame myself. I knew what the "partner" could do. I wasn't sure what he could do, but 70 %-ly sure, I guess. Until this very second, my throat hurts because of the screaming. It feels so wrong, so confusing, so strange that he was the one who made me breathe again, and yet now, he's causing me to faint. Sayang...I really believed in him, if only i didn't allow doubt to make its way throug. Sayang.
Its been painful, i know. Living life with all these hurts and troubles. Im on your side
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Its been painful, i know. Living life with all these hurts and troubles. Im on your side
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yahoo!!i have a COMMENT BOX again! =) gamitin pa rin natin ang tag board,ah?announcements niyo...watever lang. btw, i cant align to right my links...can anyone help me please?thanx!
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10 Things I Miss About College
10. 6pm-9pm classes. I can say that my best and memorable classes were placed on that timeslot. Benilde is so great at night too, lahat laid-back na. Plus, Plaza V is such a sight at this time---may practice lagi ang ____!
9. SDA room. With Sir Icko, Mama E, Sir Manolet, Sir Eric Pineda, and Sir Hetch...this is the best faculty room in the whole school! Ay..si Ms. Bau pa pala, our beloved Dean. =)
8. M307. My first classroom, where it all began.
7. SeC activities. The one and only org I joined in my four years in CSB was Societe et Cultura or SeC. The importance of PAKIKISAMA and time management has a lot meaning to me now.
6. Community Service. Street-based CS brought me to a higher level on my outreach life, reality struck in.
5. Brainstorming/Shooting/Editing on location the whole night. Aaaaah! My insomnia was put to use, at last! =)
4. Endless "Art Films" to watch. From French to Chinese to Japanese to old Filipino films, very worthwhile.
3. Out of school classes/OJT's. My top 2? STAGFX1&2 at Mrs. Batoctoy's house and Sir Eric's tour of Divisoria/Anna Fegi galore + Bibsy + Legato + PrD and TThr batch '99 = the best ojt ever.
2. House Blend, Chowking, Tattle's, and our very own canteen. Food, food, food. The joys of college can't be complete without a food trip!
1. Student Involvement Office. Or better known as SIO, the home of the organizations in CSB. The first place I go to when I arrive (and stay kahit may classes...minsan! =p) in school, the place where I fell in and out of love, the place where secrets have been created and then revealed, and most of all, the place where friendships were built and meant to be sustained. SIO, my home in CSB.
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10. 6pm-9pm classes. I can say that my best and memorable classes were placed on that timeslot. Benilde is so great at night too, lahat laid-back na. Plus, Plaza V is such a sight at this time---may practice lagi ang ____!
9. SDA room. With Sir Icko, Mama E, Sir Manolet, Sir Eric Pineda, and Sir Hetch...this is the best faculty room in the whole school! Ay..si Ms. Bau pa pala, our beloved Dean. =)
8. M307. My first classroom, where it all began.
7. SeC activities. The one and only org I joined in my four years in CSB was Societe et Cultura or SeC. The importance of PAKIKISAMA and time management has a lot meaning to me now.
6. Community Service. Street-based CS brought me to a higher level on my outreach life, reality struck in.
5. Brainstorming/Shooting/Editing on location the whole night. Aaaaah! My insomnia was put to use, at last! =)
4. Endless "Art Films" to watch. From French to Chinese to Japanese to old Filipino films, very worthwhile.
3. Out of school classes/OJT's. My top 2? STAGFX1&2 at Mrs. Batoctoy's house and Sir Eric's tour of Divisoria/Anna Fegi galore + Bibsy + Legato + PrD and TThr batch '99 = the best ojt ever.
2. House Blend, Chowking, Tattle's, and our very own canteen. Food, food, food. The joys of college can't be complete without a food trip!
1. Student Involvement Office. Or better known as SIO, the home of the organizations in CSB. The first place I go to when I arrive (and stay kahit may classes...minsan! =p) in school, the place where I fell in and out of love, the place where secrets have been created and then revealed, and most of all, the place where friendships were built and meant to be sustained. SIO, my home in CSB.
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Friday, March 12, 2004
Boy Abunda's Private Conversations aired on ANC is very enlightening. Boy is from showbiz but he doesn't sound as such when hosting that show. (I didn't mean bad about showbiz...no misinterpretations please) He asks appropriate questions with sincerity and listens to the answers relatively. I love the way he ends his show, summarizing his "lessons" from the guests with his own, spontaneous words.
This afternoon, I caught a re-run and his guest was the inspiring (personally) couple, Anthony Pangilinan and Maricel Laxa-Pangilinan. I thought they were very inspiring because they've always given off positive vibes on married life. I come from a broken family so these kinds of insights are very notable for me. Learning that they too, went through very tough times as couple came as a relief. It seemed like the word PERFECT is fit for their relationship, but then, there is nothing perfect in this world after all. Listening to them made me laugh, contemplate, was surprised at some point and out of the blue, made me cry. One thing that struck me was when they shared their "fights", how they do it and their rules on fighting (that includes how, where and when). According to them, their most recent fight was very good. As if Boy read my mind, he asked, "How can a fight be good?". Maricel said that it was an intimate one, there weren't raising of voices and they resolved it on one of their Friday dates (the couple agreed to have a date every Friday, bati or hindi) at home. While they were at it, one by one, their children will visit them and say, "We're praying for you." Then, "Please forgive each other." Or "Please say I love you." Listening to their story gave me an idea that as long as you're determined to aspire good unto others, blessings will overflow. The way their children responded, reminding them goodness and love, proves how careful and knowing the couple are raising their blessings from the Lord. It truly is a job to be a mom or a dad, same with being a husband or a wife. It takes a lot of understanding, forgiveness, patience, and most of all, love to your family. Another thing that struck me was when Maricel said that it is important that your children know how much you love them, no matter what they do, that you will love them endlessly. I think that it is important for parents to know this, that being a parent doesn't include giving up on anything at all. Maricel made it sound so real and possible, especially when she shared (another thing) that they taught their kids to not say "I'm sorry", instead, "Please forgive me." That makes sense, a lot of sense. Lastly, I grasped Anthony's words. "Learn to say NO to honor your yes's." I believe that this saying is important, not just in married life but in life as a whole. A "No" can mean well in most cases, you know. Love is not an excuse to never say "No", in fact, it is the reason to say "No" most of the time, right?
I have faith that there will still be lasting marriages in this world of legal divorces and annulments. It just takes good intentions, faith, insistence and the right love to make blessings overflow. Now, can you believe I composed this after watching a Boy Abunda show? Yes, believe that I did.
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This afternoon, I caught a re-run and his guest was the inspiring (personally) couple, Anthony Pangilinan and Maricel Laxa-Pangilinan. I thought they were very inspiring because they've always given off positive vibes on married life. I come from a broken family so these kinds of insights are very notable for me. Learning that they too, went through very tough times as couple came as a relief. It seemed like the word PERFECT is fit for their relationship, but then, there is nothing perfect in this world after all. Listening to them made me laugh, contemplate, was surprised at some point and out of the blue, made me cry. One thing that struck me was when they shared their "fights", how they do it and their rules on fighting (that includes how, where and when). According to them, their most recent fight was very good. As if Boy read my mind, he asked, "How can a fight be good?". Maricel said that it was an intimate one, there weren't raising of voices and they resolved it on one of their Friday dates (the couple agreed to have a date every Friday, bati or hindi) at home. While they were at it, one by one, their children will visit them and say, "We're praying for you." Then, "Please forgive each other." Or "Please say I love you." Listening to their story gave me an idea that as long as you're determined to aspire good unto others, blessings will overflow. The way their children responded, reminding them goodness and love, proves how careful and knowing the couple are raising their blessings from the Lord. It truly is a job to be a mom or a dad, same with being a husband or a wife. It takes a lot of understanding, forgiveness, patience, and most of all, love to your family. Another thing that struck me was when Maricel said that it is important that your children know how much you love them, no matter what they do, that you will love them endlessly. I think that it is important for parents to know this, that being a parent doesn't include giving up on anything at all. Maricel made it sound so real and possible, especially when she shared (another thing) that they taught their kids to not say "I'm sorry", instead, "Please forgive me." That makes sense, a lot of sense. Lastly, I grasped Anthony's words. "Learn to say NO to honor your yes's." I believe that this saying is important, not just in married life but in life as a whole. A "No" can mean well in most cases, you know. Love is not an excuse to never say "No", in fact, it is the reason to say "No" most of the time, right?
I have faith that there will still be lasting marriages in this world of legal divorces and annulments. It just takes good intentions, faith, insistence and the right love to make blessings overflow. Now, can you believe I composed this after watching a Boy Abunda show? Yes, believe that I did.
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Wednesday, March 10, 2004
If there's one thing i'd never want to get used to is when my friends leave for wherever for good. Last year, it was Bart. Bart and i treat each other as cousins. Si Toff may kasalanan nyan eh, but we delightfully adapted to it. We had a despidida at Vic's place and a semi-farewell in SeC and KFC on course cards day. Still, it didn't make anything easier to accept the fact that he's going to the States for a really long time. Ngayon naman, si Bam. Ginulat kaming lahat sa announcement niya this Monday that he's leaving on Fri, 12:05am. His mom unexpectedly bought tickets and assumed that it'll be better for him to leave early. At this very moment, he's treating his close friends to a dinner-slash-inuman at his house. Patay...wala pa ako dun.
And, soon after, its Shine's turn. According to Kalay, there's a job waiting for her in the States. She'll live with Ate Tin ata and start a new life. I'll miss them both..and si Bart? I'm missING him still. I can never get over longing for a distant friend....
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And, soon after, its Shine's turn. According to Kalay, there's a job waiting for her in the States. She'll live with Ate Tin ata and start a new life. I'll miss them both..and si Bart? I'm missING him still. I can never get over longing for a distant friend....
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Pressure. Intense wants. Different opportunities.
You click on a job site, you get excited of highlighted companies. Enter your choice, apply and wait. A few weeks after, no reply. You wait more. You contemplate and pray more. Wait again. Then, back to start. You click on a job site, you get excited of highlighted companies. Enter your choice, apply and wait.
It's no joke to get a job.
Prayer. Perseverance. Patience.
Determination. Dedication. Drive.
Passion.
Only a few things you need to cope with the cliché, the real world.
Destiny awaits the dreamers.
Dreamers face destiny.
It's now or never
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You click on a job site, you get excited of highlighted companies. Enter your choice, apply and wait. A few weeks after, no reply. You wait more. You contemplate and pray more. Wait again. Then, back to start. You click on a job site, you get excited of highlighted companies. Enter your choice, apply and wait.
It's no joke to get a job.
Prayer. Perseverance. Patience.
Determination. Dedication. Drive.
Passion.
Only a few things you need to cope with the cliché, the real world.
Destiny awaits the dreamers.
Dreamers face destiny.
It's now or never
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Tuesday, March 09, 2004
Saturday, March 06, 2004
Thursday, March 04, 2004
How foolish can one be
In this game called love
Can you love another
When he's with somebody else
Or you should shut up and leave
And respect the one he's with
I'm no expert
I'm no goddess of love
But I know its wrong
Its not right
Its unfair but it can't be
I'm sure
Now, what can you do
If you can't rule over it
Is it ok to just be there
Watch then listen
How simple it is but
Not all
When you love
You can't be foolish
These are two different words
When you love
You sacrifice and care
Its different
I'm no expert
I'm no goddess of love
But I know its wrong
Its not right
Its unfair but it can't be
I'm sure
-mdj-03042004
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In this game called love
Can you love another
When he's with somebody else
Or you should shut up and leave
And respect the one he's with
I'm no expert
I'm no goddess of love
But I know its wrong
Its not right
Its unfair but it can't be
I'm sure
Now, what can you do
If you can't rule over it
Is it ok to just be there
Watch then listen
How simple it is but
Not all
When you love
You can't be foolish
These are two different words
When you love
You sacrifice and care
Its different
I'm no expert
I'm no goddess of love
But I know its wrong
Its not right
Its unfair but it can't be
I'm sure
-mdj-03042004
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