Sunday, February 29, 2004
End of February, restart of my working days. Yehey! I'm so thankful I got the groove back earlier than expected. Kailangan ko lang seryosohin ang working-out. Heheh. =p Yesterday, we had an ocular-slash-pre-prod meeting. It was drastic because we had to start from scratch with the pressure of having the event in a week. Hassle talaga kung hindi cooperative committees mo, sa totoo lang, bigla akong naging proud sa SeC. SeC was able to pull-off impressive symposiums in limited time with remarkable guests, all because of unity and creativity. Organizations in college are supposed to train students for the real world, not to just provide them tambayans and socializations. Sayang yung members nila Paola, they could have saved so much money if they were supportive of each other. Owell, blessing in disguise na rin yan, for sure. Kung baga, Paola and I saved each other's asses through this event. Good thing na rin, in a way.
In a week or two, I'll be staffing for Fete dela Musique this year. Hopefully, we get to push through with a formal secretariat this year, office girl-slash-runner kami dun! Amazing! =)
|
In a week or two, I'll be staffing for Fete dela Musique this year. Hopefully, we get to push through with a formal secretariat this year, office girl-slash-runner kami dun! Amazing! =)
|
Thursday, February 26, 2004
Nina amazes me, parang ko siyang soulmate. Whenever she releases a cut from her album, it always speaks of my current emotions. Jealous fairly spoke of the past, and now, A Girl Can Dream, a remake from the OST of Centerstage(performed by P.Y.T.). Its not a super sad song, more like when you feel alright but letting go of the feelings not the friendship. That's how things are for now, im happy for him. And, yes...this goes out to him, still.... =)
A Girl Can Dream
When I was a child the story would say
Somebody would sweep you off your feet someday
That's what I hoped would happen with you
More than you could know
I wanted to tell you that my heart's in your hands
I prayed for the day when I would get the chance
Just when I worked up the courage to try
Much to my surprise
You had somebody else
Cuz these feelings I keep to myself
[CHORUS:]
I may never get to hold you so tight
I may never get to kiss you goodnight
I may never get to look deep in your eyes
Or so it seems
I always will be wishing you were mine
I think about what could be all the time
All the happiness that I could find
Baby a girl can dream
From the moment I wake up
'Til I fall asleep
I imagine you not with her but with me
Talkin' and laughin'
Sharin' our dreams
It's just a fantasy
Cuz you had somebody else
Cuz these feelings I keep to myself
[REPEAT CHORUS]
A girl can dream it's true
And to call you my own
Is the sweetest dream of all
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Oh a girl can dream
|
A Girl Can Dream
When I was a child the story would say
Somebody would sweep you off your feet someday
That's what I hoped would happen with you
More than you could know
I wanted to tell you that my heart's in your hands
I prayed for the day when I would get the chance
Just when I worked up the courage to try
Much to my surprise
You had somebody else
Cuz these feelings I keep to myself
[CHORUS:]
I may never get to hold you so tight
I may never get to kiss you goodnight
I may never get to look deep in your eyes
Or so it seems
I always will be wishing you were mine
I think about what could be all the time
All the happiness that I could find
Baby a girl can dream
From the moment I wake up
'Til I fall asleep
I imagine you not with her but with me
Talkin' and laughin'
Sharin' our dreams
It's just a fantasy
Cuz you had somebody else
Cuz these feelings I keep to myself
[REPEAT CHORUS]
A girl can dream it's true
And to call you my own
Is the sweetest dream of all
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Oh a girl can dream
|
Paola texted and asked if I'm free on Saturday next week for a raket. Yahoo! Small time lang pero at least may gagawin ako! Yahoo! =) I've been slacking off for the past weeks now and its just killing me. My plans are slowing down and yes, im blaming it on to something (I'd rather not mention). Thank God of the connections we built in college, we get rakets like this one. I'm hoping for call backs on the six companies I submitted resumes to for on line, and three for walk ins. Haaay, sana tumawag na sila sakin. My barista dream is also a big consideration at the moment. I really don't know what's attracting me to that, "One espresso for Chuvah". Hahah. Ok ba yun =) saan kaya ok? Starbucks, Seattle's Best, Coffee Bean, Figaro? We'll see, we'll see. =) that dream is far from my production work but I guess it can blend.
Starting today, I have to be up and going again. 'di ko lang alam how to psyche myself again but I hope to figure it out today. It's better late than never, right?
Please pray that we all be employed soon. =)
|
Starting today, I have to be up and going again. 'di ko lang alam how to psyche myself again but I hope to figure it out today. It's better late than never, right?
Please pray that we all be employed soon. =)
|
Friday, February 20, 2004
dreamer
I changed the occupation in my Friendster profile to A DREAMER ü.
Through the hard times, I pray a lot and even more when I am happy. I am not a perfect good girl, nor an all-out evil one too. I am not a regular church-goer but I believe that God is time. That He, too blessed me to dream all I want.
In my younger years, I dreamt of being able to live on my own in college and study a course that I'll enjoy. Fortunately, I did. Except for the living on my own part, my reconsideration for that were the sleepovers at Shine's, Lei's and Lay's in times of OJT's, plays and shootings. That made up for it. ü the dreamer in me also lived up to the first relationship I had. It wasn't too successful but most of my hopes were present in that reality. I still am thankful of that moment. Daydreaming, that is one of my hobbies. Heheh.ü can't deny that, kinakausap ko sarili ko kung minsan dahil diyan. Now, I am dreaming of working while in contentment. They always say that you should love your work; I hope I can, for that will keep me alive. I dream of being successful in my chosen field, live on my own before settling with a partner, have a family and support my dad/mom/lola & brothers at kung sino pang ka-pamilyang pwedeng matulungan with all the things they need. This time, I guess I am dreaming big. Maybe, it will come true. Maybe, it won't. But just like what life is about, what I believe life is about, God is my lifelong boss. He'll provide me what I need. He'll grant my dreams, as long as it matches His plans for me.
I am a dreamer under the Lord's promise, forever.
a requirement
A few years ago, i was required to compose a reaction on our CS or community service. It is a requirement to graduate. Some found it boring or hassle, me? Just read on...
THE CS EXPERIENCE
An outreach activity is not new to me. Since I was in grade school, I was already exposed to this kind of activity. When I was younger, I was brought to centers that were my same age, together with my whole class. We would prepare a simple program for them and help the kids gain new friends through us. But as we grew older, our responsibilities grew with us. We were already assigned to "Community based" outreaches. Different groups in our class were each assigned to a foster family for a day, a day is spent in their area, usually a selected squatters area, wherein we would be helping them in their everyday activity. There were times that we had to help them sweep the whole place, or help them wash their laundry and even get water from the well. It was a humbling experience that led me to realize the realities in our society. In college, outreach meant community service. Each group was assigned to a community-based location, center-based location or to a street-based location. For my group, we were in a street-based location.
After eight meetings, three hours each of spending the Friday's near the vacant spaces anywhere near Malate Church, I have learned the ways of a man through a child's eye. It made me appreciate both big and small blessings I have received in my life. The smallest piece of chicken they could freely receive from the people around was ought to be shared for their whole family. The "tsinelas" they use is good, as long as one of the straps are still capable of holding feet. It doesn't matter if they take a bath, but once a month is good enough. These are the realities that became closer to me as I go back to our site every Friday. Maybe, we have complained that commuting to and from the site was very difficult and tiring, or we have complained that the coordination with the centers was a bit disorganized, but right now, I can say that having been able to have experienced being in a street-based community service made me more real as a person.
In a way, I got attached to some of the kids, which gave me a new meaning in caring for my family. In the streets, they call each other kuya or ate, meaning everyone there is their family. It doesn't matter if you're real relative, what matters there is you help and care for each other, which I think is one of most important things anyone should learn. This is where I gave the saying "walang iwanan" a whole new sincere meaning. One particular event that happened in our CS that struck me the most was when our group went to the sea wall. It was told to us that it's where the street kids inhale rugby and just get high. The kids led us with the social worker and let us experience the freedom they get when brought in that particular place. We didn't see anyone doing rugby, or any kind of drugs, but it gave me the freedom that they were talking about. It felt so alone and comforting at the same time. It seemed like you wouldn't care less with the whole world, as long as you're there, whether alone or with anyone.
The CS experience was something that I am so thankful for, everything that happened was a realization to myself and on how I view others as Christians. If you can't help yourself, you can't help anyone else in need.
CS IN THREE WORDS: IT'S A BLESSING!
Marisol de Jesus
Group 38
....I just wanted to share. The three words were a requirement to compose too. Ang daming kailangang gawin para maka-grad noh? =)
Pao, Rain, Lei, Aiko, Zee, Ameng, and Perfecto...salamat po. =)
|
I changed the occupation in my Friendster profile to A DREAMER ü.
Through the hard times, I pray a lot and even more when I am happy. I am not a perfect good girl, nor an all-out evil one too. I am not a regular church-goer but I believe that God is time. That He, too blessed me to dream all I want.
In my younger years, I dreamt of being able to live on my own in college and study a course that I'll enjoy. Fortunately, I did. Except for the living on my own part, my reconsideration for that were the sleepovers at Shine's, Lei's and Lay's in times of OJT's, plays and shootings. That made up for it. ü the dreamer in me also lived up to the first relationship I had. It wasn't too successful but most of my hopes were present in that reality. I still am thankful of that moment. Daydreaming, that is one of my hobbies. Heheh.ü can't deny that, kinakausap ko sarili ko kung minsan dahil diyan. Now, I am dreaming of working while in contentment. They always say that you should love your work; I hope I can, for that will keep me alive. I dream of being successful in my chosen field, live on my own before settling with a partner, have a family and support my dad/mom/lola & brothers at kung sino pang ka-pamilyang pwedeng matulungan with all the things they need. This time, I guess I am dreaming big. Maybe, it will come true. Maybe, it won't. But just like what life is about, what I believe life is about, God is my lifelong boss. He'll provide me what I need. He'll grant my dreams, as long as it matches His plans for me.
I am a dreamer under the Lord's promise, forever.
a requirement
A few years ago, i was required to compose a reaction on our CS or community service. It is a requirement to graduate. Some found it boring or hassle, me? Just read on...
THE CS EXPERIENCE
An outreach activity is not new to me. Since I was in grade school, I was already exposed to this kind of activity. When I was younger, I was brought to centers that were my same age, together with my whole class. We would prepare a simple program for them and help the kids gain new friends through us. But as we grew older, our responsibilities grew with us. We were already assigned to "Community based" outreaches. Different groups in our class were each assigned to a foster family for a day, a day is spent in their area, usually a selected squatters area, wherein we would be helping them in their everyday activity. There were times that we had to help them sweep the whole place, or help them wash their laundry and even get water from the well. It was a humbling experience that led me to realize the realities in our society. In college, outreach meant community service. Each group was assigned to a community-based location, center-based location or to a street-based location. For my group, we were in a street-based location.
After eight meetings, three hours each of spending the Friday's near the vacant spaces anywhere near Malate Church, I have learned the ways of a man through a child's eye. It made me appreciate both big and small blessings I have received in my life. The smallest piece of chicken they could freely receive from the people around was ought to be shared for their whole family. The "tsinelas" they use is good, as long as one of the straps are still capable of holding feet. It doesn't matter if they take a bath, but once a month is good enough. These are the realities that became closer to me as I go back to our site every Friday. Maybe, we have complained that commuting to and from the site was very difficult and tiring, or we have complained that the coordination with the centers was a bit disorganized, but right now, I can say that having been able to have experienced being in a street-based community service made me more real as a person.
In a way, I got attached to some of the kids, which gave me a new meaning in caring for my family. In the streets, they call each other kuya or ate, meaning everyone there is their family. It doesn't matter if you're real relative, what matters there is you help and care for each other, which I think is one of most important things anyone should learn. This is where I gave the saying "walang iwanan" a whole new sincere meaning. One particular event that happened in our CS that struck me the most was when our group went to the sea wall. It was told to us that it's where the street kids inhale rugby and just get high. The kids led us with the social worker and let us experience the freedom they get when brought in that particular place. We didn't see anyone doing rugby, or any kind of drugs, but it gave me the freedom that they were talking about. It felt so alone and comforting at the same time. It seemed like you wouldn't care less with the whole world, as long as you're there, whether alone or with anyone.
The CS experience was something that I am so thankful for, everything that happened was a realization to myself and on how I view others as Christians. If you can't help yourself, you can't help anyone else in need.
CS IN THREE WORDS: IT'S A BLESSING!
Marisol de Jesus
Group 38
....I just wanted to share. The three words were a requirement to compose too. Ang daming kailangang gawin para maka-grad noh? =)
Pao, Rain, Lei, Aiko, Zee, Ameng, and Perfecto...salamat po. =)
|
Saturday, February 14, 2004
We could've celebrated our ten months official monthsary two days ago, and today we have gone somewhere our friends won't find us. It could've been a perfect day, just spending it together. Maybe we would be eating our fave dish that you cooked, drinking whatever I mixed, then sharing a gorgeous cheesecake we bought from Starbucks, while talking and laughing the whole damn day. All were maybe's, and could've's (tama ba ang pag-sulat na yan? nyek! Whatever! =p), my imagination's just floating in reality. It's ok. Really, it is. I can smile about everything that's passed already. I choose to recall only the fun times, though. That's valid, right? Unofficially, two glorious years and eight wonderful months. Gulo ba? Aah, basta! Ganun yun! =) I remember him saying, "Hindi na natin problema yun kung hindi nila maintindihan. Ang importante, we understand each other. ". Ok, those weren't his exact words but it was to that effect. That secured us and elevated our relationship in a whole new level then. My best times were with him, he taught me essential things in life. Some, I just had to learn it the hard way. Like what I've said before, regret never crossed my mind. I may have done wrong things, had wrong decisions but I wouldn't be ME now without those experiences. I'm still learning the ways of love and life. Do I still love him the same? No. But do I love him still? Yes, once I care, always I will do.
"in your life, you should find someone who can dance with you under the night sky...even without the moon and the stars..even without any music playing..even if that someone cant dance well..but still dances with you."
-Save The Last Dance
Happy Love Day to everyone! Be safe, always! =)
|
"in your life, you should find someone who can dance with you under the night sky...even without the moon and the stars..even without any music playing..even if that someone cant dance well..but still dances with you."
-Save The Last Dance
Happy Love Day to everyone! Be safe, always! =)
|
Friday, February 13, 2004
how can you get through
being alone and feeling lonely
tears begin to fall
everything you see is dark
you feel cold and broken
but outside, you look alright
outside, you look well
noone can feel your pain
you smile and laugh
even if you're deeply bleeding
the day feels like the night
you hold on to a prayer
that keeps you strong
yes, a bit you're strong
you believe you are strong
surrendering all what is inside
closing the eyes to see the greater power
the bleeding heart, the day and night
everything you lift all up
believing what you believe
alone, there is a struggle
with Him, struggle is hope
its ok to feel alone, broken and cold
just believe what you believe
soon, it'll be answered. soon.
-mdj.02132004-
|
being alone and feeling lonely
tears begin to fall
everything you see is dark
you feel cold and broken
but outside, you look alright
outside, you look well
noone can feel your pain
you smile and laugh
even if you're deeply bleeding
the day feels like the night
you hold on to a prayer
that keeps you strong
yes, a bit you're strong
you believe you are strong
surrendering all what is inside
closing the eyes to see the greater power
the bleeding heart, the day and night
everything you lift all up
believing what you believe
alone, there is a struggle
with Him, struggle is hope
its ok to feel alone, broken and cold
just believe what you believe
soon, it'll be answered. soon.
-mdj.02132004-
|
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
gash!wataday!wah!
lei, ace and i went to ABS to pass resumes. as usual, it was packed. star quest dreamers were lined up, sabi nila there were hundreds of them. PAs running from one studio to the other and syempre, artistas too. as we crossed ELJ to the Talent Building, *JP was standing near the door. na-excite si loka and declared, fantasizing we are meant to be. since, everytime i go to ABS, i see him! hahha.ü after passing by him, we went straight to Ms. Gigi Santos' office and submitted our resume. sana matanggap!(fingers crossed!!) so...pagtapos nun, we went up to the 7th floor to check HR dept. nagbakasakali lang. ace didn't find an interestinmg job opening. next stop, look for direk tots for referrals. we rode the elevator from 7th floor. tapos, tumigil sa 2nd floor. door opens...tadaaaaaaaaaah...*JP walks in. grabeh!classic talaga!natatameme ako, i blushed and smiled involuntarily!!!PiCKLe talaga!soliiiid!the last time i was like that was when i was with bing in town center and "Nine Mornings" was shooting. lei couldn't resist smiling and laughing, at sobrang nadala ako. nakakahiya talaga! it seemed like a long elevator ride of repressed silence and not to mention awkwardness. buti na lang, naka-smile lang sya. i thought the embarassment ended when he went out of the elevator...but no...nakasalubong pa namin siya sa labas while we were still laughing about the whole incident.waaaah!!!
may tama talaga ako kay *JP....haaay....
|
lei, ace and i went to ABS to pass resumes. as usual, it was packed. star quest dreamers were lined up, sabi nila there were hundreds of them. PAs running from one studio to the other and syempre, artistas too. as we crossed ELJ to the Talent Building, *JP was standing near the door. na-excite si loka and declared, fantasizing we are meant to be. since, everytime i go to ABS, i see him! hahha.ü after passing by him, we went straight to Ms. Gigi Santos' office and submitted our resume. sana matanggap!(fingers crossed!!) so...pagtapos nun, we went up to the 7th floor to check HR dept. nagbakasakali lang. ace didn't find an interestinmg job opening. next stop, look for direk tots for referrals. we rode the elevator from 7th floor. tapos, tumigil sa 2nd floor. door opens...tadaaaaaaaaaah...*JP walks in. grabeh!classic talaga!natatameme ako, i blushed and smiled involuntarily!!!PiCKLe talaga!soliiiid!the last time i was like that was when i was with bing in town center and "Nine Mornings" was shooting. lei couldn't resist smiling and laughing, at sobrang nadala ako. nakakahiya talaga! it seemed like a long elevator ride of repressed silence and not to mention awkwardness. buti na lang, naka-smile lang sya. i thought the embarassment ended when he went out of the elevator...but no...nakasalubong pa namin siya sa labas while we were still laughing about the whole incident.waaaah!!!
may tama talaga ako kay *JP....haaay....
|
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
"Ayaw bayaran yung proposal natin. ", this just sent me to the ground yesterday. I awfully felt so bad upon hearing those words. Things were all planned out, reservations were about to be made but no. It won't push thru. Maybe there'll be bigger opportunities to come, but this could've been a good take off. Sayang. That's all I can feel. Frustration too. I had second thoughts earlier on, but Paola talked me through it. Ok na naman lahat, someone just blew it. He could really get into our nerves, CERTIFIED now! Haaay. I'm sure the next one will be a lot better.
Shine and Kalay...bawi tayo next raket! Malapit na kayong maging KaPamilya along with Lei!Goodluck to you!
|
Shine and Kalay...bawi tayo next raket! Malapit na kayong maging KaPamilya along with Lei!Goodluck to you!
|
Friday, February 06, 2004
With all the changes happening now, there's one emotion that's remained in me.
Last Monday, Feb. 2, 2004, I went to school to return my rented toga. As usual, before going anywhere else I dropped by the cubez. There, I was greeted by the usual people and him...he used to take away my hassle for the day. Even the times when we weren't friends yet, he makes me feel that way, thus even more after months of meeting each other. That day, last Monday, he sent me that same vibes again. It excites and scares me at the same time. I'm afraid to make him feel taken advantage of that's why I never risked of professing my feelings. Siguro, in time when all's in place and I have no reason to be unsure of the result. Do you have some people that keeps you that way? I don't care of I'm deviant of this experience. I'm not hurting anyone, anyway. I'm happy with the way we are now, I can't ask for more.
|
Last Monday, Feb. 2, 2004, I went to school to return my rented toga. As usual, before going anywhere else I dropped by the cubez. There, I was greeted by the usual people and him...he used to take away my hassle for the day. Even the times when we weren't friends yet, he makes me feel that way, thus even more after months of meeting each other. That day, last Monday, he sent me that same vibes again. It excites and scares me at the same time. I'm afraid to make him feel taken advantage of that's why I never risked of professing my feelings. Siguro, in time when all's in place and I have no reason to be unsure of the result. Do you have some people that keeps you that way? I don't care of I'm deviant of this experience. I'm not hurting anyone, anyway. I'm happy with the way we are now, I can't ask for more.
|
Thursday, February 05, 2004
I was kidnapped by Tito Tata to join Bianca's dinner last night at Saisaki. Syempre, sana hindi pa ako naka-dinner but well, I was already full when I got there because I just had dinner with my own family. I still ate a few sushi pa rin. =) Its really nice to have a second family, a group of related people that you are only associated through one of their members as friends. Honestly, their family was my least suspected fam to be really close with. Not that I don't like being with them, but they're really tight. Looking out for each other and treating each other as good friends. Tita Len loves to just hug and kiss Pao, Bianca and Marko whenever she wants to, and is very (as in very!!) open about her past experiences as a teenager. I guess that's why Bianca and Pao are very open with their currents with her too. Sobrang aliw rin si Marko, the youngest of them but still keeps his pagka-kuya to his sisters...and luckily, sometimes with me too. Ang cute talaga! The moment that I felt, I am really "part" of them (with Tita Len's text msgs assuring me that im family to them na) was when I got a call from Bianca and Tita Len, asking me to be Bianca's ninang for confirmation. I immediately agreed and just realized later on that being ninang in a kumpil actually means you're actually old already. =) but it turned out ok. There were many young ninangs, and I got to say hi to my old teachers in high school. Their family may have their own private jokes on the table (who doesn't have naman diba?ü), but they'll quickly fill me in so I won't be left out naman. I feel so blessed to have been accepted by the Francisco's for the past 5 years...besides, my mother could've been married to a Francisco almost 25 years ago! How? Well...that's another story to tell. =)
|
|
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
feb1,2004
My soon-to-be cousin in law, Gil, brought his family for to our weekly Sunday gathering for the traditional pamamanhikan. Too bad, I wasn't there when he wore the engagement ring to Ate Mae, the bride-to-be. It wasn't too formal(buti na lang), picture taking lang tas kain na. Kwentuhan, and the most fave Filipino past time, Videoke. Super game silang lahat, which perfectly threw great impressions to our family. Its so nice to have seen the glow on Gil and Ate Mae's faces when they realized that their families clicked. I love Gil for Ate and I guess, Ate is perfect for Gil as well. Despite Ate's kikay and career woman personality, she compliments Gil's frank and practical attitude. They're the kind of couple that can inspire you to be always hopeful on love…that somewhere, somehow it will find its way, and remain.
|
My soon-to-be cousin in law, Gil, brought his family for to our weekly Sunday gathering for the traditional pamamanhikan. Too bad, I wasn't there when he wore the engagement ring to Ate Mae, the bride-to-be. It wasn't too formal(buti na lang), picture taking lang tas kain na. Kwentuhan, and the most fave Filipino past time, Videoke. Super game silang lahat, which perfectly threw great impressions to our family. Its so nice to have seen the glow on Gil and Ate Mae's faces when they realized that their families clicked. I love Gil for Ate and I guess, Ate is perfect for Gil as well. Despite Ate's kikay and career woman personality, she compliments Gil's frank and practical attitude. They're the kind of couple that can inspire you to be always hopeful on love…that somewhere, somehow it will find its way, and remain.
|
